Khyhywhaohw

Khyhywhaohw (/'kjɪhwaʊhw/), officially Hero, is a runty little cat. She's a terrible little shit and destroys everything. She's weird and fucking loves sniffing Luna's butt for some reason.

EDIT: June 18, 2017: JAMES WHY DID YOU THROW THE JELLO. IT GOT STUCK IN HER FUR. XDDDDDD

She's a toe cat. She'll wander up next to your feet, rub against your legs, and start licking your toes like her life depended on it. This can be pleasant, but it's hard not to forget everything else that's been on her tongue—everything.

Khyhywhaohw enjoys getting stuck in the laundry room, sticking her head into mugs, and flopping.

In Spanish, she is called gata mala, and in Russian, plokhaya koshka. Due to this status, it is very likely that Khyhywhaohw is from Guatemala, as gatas malas are their main export. If this is the case, then that would make her a gata mala de Guatemala.

When she rumbles, she rumbles, so much so that when she does she's called a rumble paws.

She puked on the fucking table today. I just...I don't know what to say. She couldn't jump off and puke on the carpet (you know, the part I don't own). No, she puked on the table.

As of June 23, 2019, she received her official Good Kitty Certification, due to her outstanding actions in hunting bug. Though she has always been an avid bug hunter, it was her performance on the evening of the 23rd that finally won her the certification. She had managed to draw out a large American roach to James's attention. When he left to grab the bug spray, she kept track of the bug's location for him while he was gone; when he came back, she then spooked the bug out of its hiding spot, allowing James to easily resolve the situation from there. Before then, she pawed at it and messed around with it, making sure the bug got really annoyed, too. Good kitty!

Diet
Khyhywhaohws are omnivorous, eating any and everything, including bug. She acts like a fucking vacuum, walking along the ground and eating random, inedible things. You just see her munching and think, "Man, I hope whatever she's snacking on now doesn't kill her."

I saw her dunking her head into my bowl of Cocoa Pebbles. I'm pretty sure that kills the cat, but no, Khyhywhaohw wants that.

The Doughnut Massacre
On 5 February, 2015, Khyhywhaohw clawed open a box of heart-shaped doughnuts and wrangled one out of the case. She pulled out one of James' jelly doughnuts, knocked it on the floor, and then proceeded to eat the pointed end off, turning it into a dirty butt-shaped doughnut with jelly oozing out of the one end. I think she was trying to tell James how she felt about him, which was fucking stupid, because her ranking was just being reconsidered then by the Kitters Ranking Committee. She has since been temporarily demoted to γ-kitters.

I just... I don't even fucking know anymore, Khyhywhaohw. I'm trying to vouch for you, man, trying to get your rank on the English alphabet so people will think more highly of you, and then... then you go and do this shit. It's like you want to be considered a lesser kitters for the rest of your life, or something.